Extension has tips to ease stress levels when families just arrive home
BLACKSBURG, Va., Sept. 8, 2008 – Home is a place of shelter from the hard knocks of the world, but maybe not in that first 20 to 30 minutes when parents arrive from work and the children get home after the day’s activities.
“The stress that occurs when people get home from work or school happens even when there is a parent staying at home,” said Debra Jones, Virginia Cooperative Extension health promotion specialist at Virginia State University. Sometimes in popular culture the stressful time is called the “arsenic hour.”
The feeling of stress might come from a combination of physical and emotional needs, Jones said. Everyone has to deal with problems and concerns both at work and at school. The parents at work and the children at school have to hold together emotionally until they reach the shelter of home.
“Having a family environment where children and adults alike believe that they are loved and accepted just as they are, and feel safe enough to let their guards down and be themselves helps strengthen us to tackle the challenges that we face in our daily lives,” said Crystal Tyler-Mackey, Virginia Cooperative Extension community viability specialist in the Southeast District.
There are physical needs at that time of the day too. If lunch happened around noon, the body is at a low energy point. Sometimes a little snack will get the energy level back up to help family members deal with the activities of the evening, said Jones. But, try to avoid too much caffeine, sugar, or carbohydrates.
Virginia Cooperative Extension has a few suggestions to strengthen your family. First, make those first minutes when you get home easier, said Jones. Parents might encourage very young children to rest with the parent for 10 to 15 minutes just enough time to relax. If the children are older, explain that the parent needs some time to look at the mail or change clothes just to get adjusted to the different atmosphere of home and the evening activities.
“Stay in the car for an extra 10 minutes, just to adjust, if that helps,” Jones suggested.
Second, try to solve some of the issues by planning ahead. Knowing what you will fix for dinner gives parents a break. Preparing the meal ahead by doing something such as cooking double batches will make it easier to get a meal on the table during the rush of the workweek. Or, share meal planning and shopping with other family members. That is also a good way to have time to talk as parents teach meal-preparation skills.
Finally, schedule a family time. When everyone gets home they are anxious to talk about both the good and the rough times of their day. Even if they are bursting to tell, it might be better to know they will have an audience. Perhaps families can set a time with each child and for the parents with each other. Keeping communication open is the real goal, Jones said.
Come up a family tradition or routine to help relieve stress when first arriving home. “Dedicated time spent together playing games, taking walks or bike rides, creating a family memory book, planning family events, reading a book together, and so on builds family bonds and a sense of belonging,” said Tyler-Mackey.
The rough time at the beginning of the evening can become a smooth transition period if the family is willing to support one another. Anything that helps ease that time makes the family stronger.
Contact: Debra Jones
Virginia Cooperative Extension health promotion specialist
Virginia State University
(804) 524-5847
dsjones@vsu.edu
Contact: Crystal Tyler-Mackey
Virginia Cooperative Extension community viability specialist
Southeast District Office
Virginia Tech
(804) 524-5494
cmtyler@vt.edu
Writer: Christine Reilly
Student Intern
Communications and Marketing
College of Agriculture and Life Sciences
Virginia Tech