Anger Has Many Causes

Unchecked anger can be an emotional "time bomb" exploding when triggered by little things such as a glass of spilled milk or a spouse asking how the job hunt went today.

Looking beyond the anger, you may begin to uncover many other emotions hidden underneath. Anger may stem from feelings of failure, being unappreciated, exploited, manipulated, uncared for or humiliated. It may be caused by feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, frustration, anxiety, guilt, fear or resentment.

Once you begin to look at the variety of feelings behind the anger and to understand the hidden feelings, you can find ways to express your feelings in positive ways.

Coping With Your Anger

• Look behind your anger. Remember exactly where you were when you first felt it. Who was with you? How did you feel at the time?

• Ask yourself if your anger is reasonable. Are you expecting too much from yourself or someone else? Are you looking at your situation objectively?

• Look at your reaction to the anger. Was the behavior justified? Did it increase your stress level or threaten your relationship with those around you? If so, look immediately for more appropriate ways to discharge your anger. Talk to others about your feelings, change what you can about your situation, view it more realistically, or use relaxation techniques to vent your stress.

• Anger is often fueled by blame. Blaming yourself or others is a way of avoiding the real problem. The energy you spend blaming could be better spent on working to understand your feelings.

Damage to Self-Esteem

Having positive feelings about yourself is easier when things go well. When things take a turn for the worse, you often lose some of your self-confidence and begin to doubt yourself.

Whether it's your first time being unemployed, or whether you have been without a job before, you may feel a sense of loss that extends well beyond losing a paycheck. Work contributes to your identity. It helps define who you are and makes you part of a larger community. Working helps you feel you belong and are important because you have something to contribute.

In many ways, losing a job is like losing a part of yourself. Your lifestyle suddenly changes. Schedules and routines that controlled a large part of your time are no longer there. You lose contact with former co-workers and friends.

Many unemployed people report going through a process of grief and mourning in response to a job loss. This loss is characterized by stages of denial, anger, depression and finally acceptance. With the help of those around them, most people eventually work out ways of dealing with their feelings. They make adjustments that help them recover from their loss and put it in perspective.

Understanding Your Feelings

Steps to Accepting Your Feelings